It's been two weeks.

It's been two weeks. It's been a really long two weeks of being unemployed. 

I was upset and confused initially. In that moment, I didn't know what to ask or say. 100 things ran through my mind: will I be able to afford rent? How about the rest of my bills? Will my parents be mad? Will my boyfriend be pissed? What the fuck just happened?!

After it was over and I left my office? I was pissed. I was really really pissed. I'll never outright discuss who I worked for or what industry it was in, but just know that they have ruined small companies for me - like I'm talking like 10 people are on the payroll. 

So, for the first time since I started working I found myself suddenly unemployed. Unemployed before the holidays. Awesome. It's a very weird feeling. I pictured a lot of downtime and sleeping but I've done the opposite. Having the two weeks off has been nice but I'm ready to go back to work. I really am not a fan of being home all day. I miss the interaction with people and wearing actually clothing, not tshirts and yoga pants. 

What I don't understand is how people can say that there are no jobs available. You have to look everywhere and more than just once a week. I've applied to almost 50 jobs. I have more jobs saved to Indeed that I need to apply to. But the response from employers? That's where I'm struggling. So far I have been getting rejection emails out the ass and I'm trying real hard to stay positive but it's just not working. 

My favorite jobs are the ones where I meet every single qualification and have additional years than what they ask for, but yet on the phone or in person they ask for one specific qualification not listed in the ad which I don't have. I had two phone interviews Monday where that exact thing happened. I don't get it. 

I know something is bound to come up, I'm applying daily. But with it being mid month already and so close to the holidays, I just feel defeated already. 

PLUS Unemployment was pushed back a bit, not by my employer but by this wonderful (God awful) state I live in. Fantastic.