My anxiety has been out of control lately and my emotions have been on a non-stop roller coaster ride.
Today has made everything much worse.
Pretty Little Liars ended, for good, tonight. As I type out those words 1.5hrs after the finale has ended, tears are still streaming down my face.
I have been a wreck all day, keeping it together at work and losing it when I've been on my own. I uncontrollably sobbed as the 6 liars were in their last scene on screen.
I struggle so much in life with endings. I don't cope well at all knowing that the end is the end. I've never been good at those type of goodbyes. I always hoped I'd grow out of it and still, at 30 I haven't.
I feel like lately, I've mentally been a mess. I don't know what's triggered it because other than money being a stressor, nothing has changed and everything is great.
I'm trying real hard to get back to the slightly younger (old) me. Basic things I stopped doing for/to myself, I'm trying to now do again. No joke, something as simple as putting on earrings is something I stopped doing. I believe my second hole closed after not having earrings in for almost a year or I just can't get through the back of it. Yesterday I put on zebra earrings from Charming Charlie and felt a little like myself. Who knew earrings could do that?!
My plan is to slowly bring back things into my life. I have a ridiculous amount of Puravida bracelets somewhere in my room that are next.
I feel like I lost myself somewhere along the way and desperately want myself back. It's a work in progress, just like coping with endings (which might not ever get resolved).
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